Monday Master Blog: Why All-or-Nothing Thinking Is Holding You Back

As a trainer, I see it all the time: people come to the gym full of motivation, determined to achieve their goals. 

They set themselves sky-high standards, such as training six times a week, following a strict diet and eating completely 'clean'. Everything seems to be going well at first, but then it happens: a busy work week, a birthday, or simply a bad day. Missing one time feels like the whole plan has failed. They fall back into old patterns, feel frustrated and tell themselves: "I'll start again next week."

This pattern, also known as all-or-nothing thinking, is one of the biggest obstacles I see in people who strive to live a healthy lifestyle. The idea that you have to do everything perfectly or not at all can be a huge setback in the long run.

I recently spoke to a client who had resolved to not eat sugar for three months. The first few weeks went well, but one day he ate a piece of cake during a work party. When I asked him how he reacted to that, he said: “I immediately thought: now everything is ruined, so I might as well order pizza tonight.”

I asked him the question, “What would happen if you didn’t see that one piece of cake as a failure, but as part of a balancing day?” He laughed and said, “Then I would probably just keep going without feeling guilty.”

Why All-or-Nothing Thinking Doesn't Work

This example shows how perfectionism and strict rules often backfire. You make it too hard for yourself to maintain a healthy lifestyle, because you don't leave room for imperfection. But let's face it: nobody is perfect, and they don't have to be.

The key to success lies in consistency, not perfection. It is much more important to make healthy choices 80% of the time and give yourself some space 20% of the time. This not only gives you more flexibility, but also ensures that you stay motivated in the long run.

How to get out of all-or-nothing thinking

If you find yourself falling into this trap often, here are a few tips that may help you:

1) Redefine success: Instead of striving for perfection, focus on progression. Every healthy choice counts, even if it's not 100%.
2) Plan for imperfection: There will always be obstacles. Accept that and make a plan for when things don't go according to plan.
3) Four small victories: You don't have to wait until you reach your final goal to be proud of yourself. Every step forward is a victory.
4) Make it feasible: Set realistic goals that fit your life and needs. You don't have to change everything at once.

Think about it: Do you recognize yourself in the all-or-nothing mindset? And if you do, what is one small adjustment you can make today to find more balance?

Leoni Heemskerk
Enforce Master Trainer
[email protected]

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